the sitcom ending

Dear Kailey

I was watching the final episode of a sitcom when it ended with a scene of the protagonist couple having a baby. I would say it is probably the most touching scene in the whole series.
And I broke down in tears.

The tears were so unexpected and unannounced. I keep thinking that I'm moving on slowly but surely. Maybe not yet huh? The fact that I suppress the memories of what happened does not mean that those same memories don't remind just as fresh.

I was with your dad when it happened. To give him credit, he held me close and told me not to apologize for my tears. He's sweet sometimes, your dad. Really really sweet.
Sometimes I wonder if the aftermath of our decision pertaining to you means that we will be bound together for a long time in an unhealthy way.

Oh babe, the pain still cuts like a knife when it comes.
If we believe in heaven, please wait for me to hold you in my arms again. It might take a while, but I will be there.
If we believe in reincarnation, please be my girl again. Later this life, the next life or the next and the next....I still want to be your mum. And this time I will not make the same mistake.

It's just going to get worse as it draws closer to your expected due date.